i’m on a seafood diet. i only eat seafood
that’s not how the joke goes lmao
do my weight loss goals seem like a fucking joke to you
- me: i'm going shopping do you want something?
- friend: nah, i'm fine
- me: *eating cookies*
- friend: give me one
- me: are you fuckin kidding with me
she went to a better place
OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND SHE SAYS “My son told me an inappropriate joke today, and he told me he got it from you” AND I WAS SUPER CONFUSED??? SO I ASKED HER WHAT THE JOKE WAS AND APPARENTLY HE SAID “how do skeletons communicate? They bone each other” I AM SO DONE
Me as fuck.
when your teacher lets you turn in something late
*puts my ipod on shuffle and skips every song until i get one i was hoping for*